> GAME INFO

How to be a complete
     Bastard

• Publisher: Virgin Games
• Developer:
Sentient Soft
Release Date: 1987
Code: Unknown

GFX: Unknown
Music: Unknown

ZZAP64 Game Rating: 33%
Our Game Rating: 45%
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FILE: htbacbend.zip


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> HOW TO BE A COMPLETE BASTARD by Virgin Games


• Completed & Reviewed by Neil Collins

What a great name for a game. Slightly confusing though if you aren't familiar with Adrian Edmonson's brand of humour.

This game is set at some kind of yuppie house party where your task is to do as the game title suggests: be as awful a guest as possible to upset all the others, forcing them to leave. You can walk around the house, enter all the rooms, search all the items of furniture and interact with all the guests. You can drink, eat, fart, wee, throw, destroy and many other functions that will give you more than enough options to annoy and disgust all those around you. It's really all up to your imagination. Once all guests have left the game is won. You can, however, kill yourself by overeating, drinking and abusing your body - so you will have to contain your vulgarity slightly. Graphically the game is adequate although control is slow and the viewpoints sometime confusing as you change the angle to allow you to view more of the current room. It's fun for a while but soon gets dull. There's only so many times you can fart, or throw toothpaste at someone or wear someone's dirty underwear. The gags are a bit juvenile and the tasks become quite repetitive. Overall it's quite original a concept but don't expect any longevity from this one...


AH-HA-HAAAA!


HA-HAAAAA!


AH-HA-HAAAA!


...and any other noise that Ade Edmondson used to make in the 80s ;-)


The End.

HOW WAS IT COMPLETED?: I found a guide online and followed the list of acts that were sure fire ways of getting guests upset enough to leave the party.

SO WHAT HAPPENS?: Once all the guests have left the words at the bottom of the screen light up completely. The final screen shows large chunky words 'THE END' which flicker and flash above a text message below it. The text message gives you a rating from Adrian, which is the highest possible - 'COMPLETE BASTARD!!!!'. As you have done so well, Adrian decides you're ready to see some pussy. Predictably a small graphic of a cat is shown and the game ends with Adrian laughing at his own silly joke.

COMMENTS:

  • Neil: The end is basically a ranking and a silly joke. Always nice to see something different, but this joke falls flat due to the poor graphics and predictability. 3/10.

  • Vinny: I've never liked this game; I've always thought that it was/is a sub-standard Speccy port that had the controls of a snail on ale! Not my cup of tea at all.

    But then... Neil sent me the ending. And to be honest, I was expecting a non-descript "GAME OVER", but it's not that at all. The programmer, whoever he is, has actually put a bit of effort into it. Okay - so it's not any massive effort, but at least there is some kind of attempt to adding a humours ending. I'll give this a 4/10.

  • Andrew Fisher: A very unusual idea, trying to cash in the success of The Young Ones (and there are similarities between the games, in the split screen display and the basic arcade adventure gameplay).

    Not really a fan of the game, and the ending is a terrible joke... but at least there was some effort put into it. Now pull my finger.

  • Brendan Phoenix: I think this was based on a book by the same name wasn't it?

    Have to admit I was going to have a go at this and looked at some YouTube clips of the speccy version, but there were no walkthrough's. Some of the comments also stated how hard it was to colour in all the letters to get that illusive bastard rating. So it did put me off, thank God we have the legend that is Neil.

    Some of the comments I saw on YouTube said how in the speccy version you find a computer and it asks if you want to reset it. If you say 'yes' it really does reset your computer!!! Wonder if that happens on the C64 version?

    All in all I expected a very poor ending similar to The Young Ones which is a similar sort of game, but we have an ok ending. Not great but way better that what I expected.

  • Frank Gasking: I wish I could have picked this game up back in the day. When I was about 12, I remember finding the book (which is where the game stemmed from) and loving it. Very immature stuff, but really enjoyed it as a kid, took it to school to show the others. Probably now I wouldn't bother so much with the game, though I might just load it up and take a look for curiosity sake. The ending is pretty typical of the humour in the book, where there is one page showing a magazine cover for "Pussy monthly", with a woman holding a cat on the front, as you turn onto the next page expecting some porn related content, you get a contents page talking about how to look after your cat, letters pages and it turns into a more simple animal magazine :-)

FINAL SAY: It's quite poor, but I suppose it's a bit different...

G.E. RATING: 3.5 / 10

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Copyright İVinny Mainolfi