How to be a complete
Bastard
• Publisher: Virgin Games
• Developer: Sentient Soft
•
Release Date:
1987
•
Code:
Unknown
•
GFX:
Unknown
•
Music:
Unknown
•
ZZAP64 Game Rating:
33%
•
Our Game Rating:
45%
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CLICK THE ICON BELOW TO DOWNLOAD THE ENDING
FILE: htbacbend.zip
CLICK HERE for VIDEO
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HOW TO BE A COMPLETE BASTARD
by Virgin Games
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• Completed
& Reviewed by Neil Collins
What a great name for a game. Slightly confusing
though if you aren't familiar with Adrian Edmonson's
brand of humour.
This
game is set at some kind of yuppie house party where
your task is to do as the game title suggests: be as
awful a guest as possible to upset all the others,
forcing them to leave. You can walk around the house,
enter all the rooms, search all the items of furniture
and interact with all the guests. You can drink, eat,
fart, wee, throw, destroy and many other functions that
will give you more than enough options to annoy and
disgust all those around you. It's really all up to your
imagination. Once all guests have left the game is won.
You can, however, kill yourself by overeating, drinking
and abusing your body - so you will have to contain your
vulgarity slightly. Graphically the game is adequate
although control is slow and the viewpoints sometime
confusing as you change the angle to allow you to view
more of the current room. It's fun for a while but soon
gets dull. There's only so many times you can fart, or
throw toothpaste at someone or wear someone's dirty
underwear. The gags are a bit juvenile and the tasks
become quite repetitive. Overall it's quite original a
concept but don't expect any longevity from this one...
AH-HA-HAAAA!
HA-HAAAAA!
AH-HA-HAAAA!
...and any other
noise that Ade Edmondson used to make in the 80s ;-)
The End.
HOW WAS IT COMPLETED?:
I found a guide online and followed the list of acts
that were sure fire ways of getting guests upset enough
to leave the party.
SO WHAT HAPPENS?:
Once all the guests have left the words at the bottom of
the screen light up completely. The final screen shows
large chunky words 'THE END' which flicker and flash
above a text message below it. The text message gives
you a rating from Adrian, which is the highest possible
- 'COMPLETE BASTARD!!!!'. As you have done so
well, Adrian decides you're ready to see some pussy.
Predictably a small graphic of a cat is shown and the
game ends with Adrian laughing at his own silly joke.
COMMENTS:
- Neil:
The end is basically a ranking and a silly joke.
Always nice to see something different, but this
joke falls flat due to the poor graphics and
predictability. 3/10.
-
Vinny:
I've never liked this game; I've always thought that
it was/is a sub-standard Speccy port that had the
controls of a snail on ale! Not my cup of tea at
all.
But then... Neil sent me the ending. And
to be honest, I was expecting a non-descript "GAME
OVER", but it's not that at all. The programmer,
whoever he is, has actually put a bit of effort into
it. Okay - so it's not any massive effort, but at
least there is some kind of attempt to adding a
humours ending. I'll give this a 4/10.
-
Andrew Fisher:
A very unusual idea, trying to cash in the success
of The Young Ones (and there are similarities
between the games, in the split screen display and
the basic arcade adventure gameplay).
Not really a fan of the game, and the ending is a
terrible joke... but at least there was some effort
put into it. Now pull my finger.
-
Brendan Phoenix:
I think this was based on a book by the same name
wasn't it?
Have to admit I was going to have a go at this and
looked at some YouTube clips of the speccy version,
but there were no walkthrough's. Some of the
comments also stated how hard it was to colour in
all the letters to get that illusive bastard rating.
So it did put me off, thank God we have the legend
that is Neil.
Some of the comments I saw on YouTube said how in
the speccy version you find a computer and it asks
if you want to reset it. If you say 'yes' it really
does reset your computer!!! Wonder if that happens
on the C64 version?
All in all I expected a very poor ending similar to
The Young Ones which is a similar sort of game, but
we have an ok ending. Not great but way better that
what I expected.
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Frank Gasking:
I wish I could have picked this game up back in the
day. When I was about 12, I remember finding the
book (which is where the game stemmed from) and
loving it. Very immature stuff, but really enjoyed
it as a kid, took it to school to show the others.
Probably now I wouldn't bother so much with the
game, though I might just load it up and take a look
for curiosity sake. The ending is pretty typical of
the humour in the book, where there is one page
showing a magazine cover for "Pussy monthly", with a
woman holding a cat on the front, as you turn onto
the next page expecting some porn related content,
you get a contents page talking about how to look
after your cat, letters pages and it turns into a
more simple animal magazine :-)
FINAL SAY:
It's quite poor, but I suppose it's a bit different...
G.E.
RATING:
3.5
/ 10 CLICK
HERE to view more endings.
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